


for you, I'd part the sea

by Redburn



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, the rest of the losers are in the background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-17 20:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13666368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redburn/pseuds/Redburn
Summary: In a world where whatever you write on your skin will appear on your soulmates skin as well.For Eddie and Richie, it's not as easy as it sounds.





	for you, I'd part the sea

**Author's Note:**

> any mistakes are my own its currently 2am 
> 
> Also the story is set in '95, so by modern setting I just mean no clowns lol

The first time Eddie learned about soulmates, he had wound up in the emergency room shortly after.

His just shy of four years old brain couldn’t quite comprehend why his mother had freaked out as much as she had. They had been in the lounge room, his mother sitting on her patchy recliner while Eddie busied himself with drawing, sitting crossed legged at the coffee table.

Then he spotted a drawing come to life on his arm, sprouting on the inside of his wrist and travelling in messy blue scribbles until it reached his left elbow. He turned to show his mother, brown eyes curious while his heart suddenly beated wildly in his chest.

His mother reacted in hysterics, saying how dangerous it was for ink to touch a person’s skin like that. In a matter of seconds he was ushered out the door and driven over to the hospital. Eddie’s small pleas insisting he hadn’t done it went unheard, that is until the doctor had returned to their room a while later to gently pull his mother aside and speak in hushed words.

Eddie stared at the drawings of children all over the walls, all colourful and displaying big smiles. Eddie did not smile back.

“Eddie?” the doctor walked over so he could kneel in front of Eddie. Eddie liked his big white coat. “I’ve spoken to your mother about what happened. I believe you when you say you didn’t do it.”

“That’s what I’ve been _saying_ ,” Eddie murmured as he looked at the ground.

“Eddie,” his mother spoke, her tone dripping with warning.

“Eddie, I want you to remember that nothing bad is happening to you, alright?” the doctor continued. Eddie traced the blue scribble idly with his forefinger. “When you’re older, your mother or father will tell you what’s happening. Just know that it’s perfectly normal and it happens to a lot of people, okay?”

Eddie heard his mother scoff lightly. His heart was still beating loudly in his chest and ears, but the longer he kept his gaze upon the blue ink he felt his body start to relax.

Eddie doesn’t remember much else that happened that day, and it would be years before his mother would bring up the subject of soulmates to him again.

Not until exactly two days after his father passed away.

*

Since that day, Eddie noticed his mother had become a lot stricter about what exactly he was allowed to wear out in public and where he was allowed to go. 

“Mum,” Eddie groaned as he stood by the open door. The summer heat was pelting down and Eddie’s skin was sweating underneath his long-sleeved shirt. “Why can’t I wear a t-shirt like everyone else?”

“Because,” his mother said, adjusting her own clothes and hair before ushering him outside. “It shows off your skin. You shouldn’t be letting anyone see your soulmarks. They’re nothing to be proud of, Eddie.”

“But why not? What’s so wrong with them?”

“Everything,” his mother insisted harshly. “They’re a fairytale, Eddie. They’re nothing but lies. And I forbid you from communicating with your so called ‘soulmate’, do you hear me?”

Eddie ground his teeth together, his biting response clear on his tongue. But he held back, already putting a plan in motion. “Fine.”

His mother eyed him for a moment, until she finally nodded, satisfied. As they drove off, Eddie stared straight ahead, legs jittery. His body, now currently bare, hadn’t experienced any scribbles in a while, but Eddie knew he would see them again.

And tonight, for the very first time, he was going to write something back.

*

As soon as he was sure his mother was asleep, Eddie pulled out the washable marker he’d stolen at the shops that day and turned on his bedside lamp.

With a deep breath, he touched the end of the marker to his skin and began to write as small as he could.

_Hi, I’d like to get to know you, if you want to?_

He leaned against the wall, heartbeat loud, excited as he waited impatiently for his soulmate to write back. But then, with a heavy feeling he suddenly realized his soulmate could be anywhere in the world, for all he knew. He might not see a response for a while. Only then, before he could panic further, words started to appear just below his own.

**holy shit! I thought maybe you died!**

Eddie blinks down at his arm, slightly taken aback.

 _Of course not! My mother is just very strict_ , after a pause, he added a _:(_.

  **oh, okay**

Eddie thought his soulmate had left him when nothing else is written for a while. Not sure if there was a specific way to do this, Eddie was going to leave it alone and just go to bed, only more words appear.

**I won’t write too much then. so you don’t get in trouble. I’m Richie, what about you?**

Eddie almost dropped his pen when he read it. Richie… his _soulmate,_ was a boy. Eddie had known for a little while now that he liked other boys like that, but he didn’t think it was possible for soulmates to be the same gender. But what if Richie didn’t like boys like that? Would he be disappointed to learn Eddie was his soulmate? He’s already disobeyed his mother enough, but maybe…

With a shaking hand and a dry throat, Eddie wrote back.

_My name is Sarah. It’s nice to meet you, Richie :)_

*

When Eddie left for college, it was one of the best days of his life.

His mother was still worried about him living in a new city and insisted greatly that he didn’t have to leave, but as soon as Eddie hopped on the bus out of Derry with only two bags to his name, he didn’t have a care in the world.

His aunt, who also lived in the same city, had sent up some local papers for Eddie to find a decent place to live before he got there. Eventually he found an apartment not too far out of the city that he would share with two roommates, Ben and Stan. They sounded nice enough on the phone, so Eddie had the first month’s rent ready when he arrived.

His room was small, but his very own, and he stood there in the empty space and smiled to himself.

“Hey, Eddie, we’re going to go out and meet some friends – would you like to join us?” Ben popped in and asked.

Never one to turn down the offer of meeting new people, he said yes, and the three of them ventured out to the higher buildings and busier streets. Eddie made sure to wear a long-sleeved shirt, still conscious about his marks. Richie had been writing to him more and more when Eddie had told him he was leaving for college.

( **that’s so cool sarah, and I’m sure your mum will be fine without you** )

( **gosh, just hearing about how smart my soulmate is is getting me all hot ;)** )

( **I wonder if we’ll bump into each other by accident?** )

Richie had become one of the main influences for Eddie to finally leave his mother. Ever since that first night, Eddie would talk to Richie. He would write on his thighs, instead, so it was less likely for his mother to see. He had grown more confident, writing more and more and opening up to Richie as the final years of high school flew by. It scared him, how connected he felt to someone he hadn’t met.

Eddie would love nothing more than to meet him, but the truth of it was: he was incredibly scared.

How badly he wanted to say that he’s a boy, so that Richie can learn his real name; so they can finally talk to each other, face to face, no more secrets.

Only briefly had he listened in on people talking about soulmates at school and around town. Some people didn’t even get one, and sometimes people refused to acknowledge when they did. So Eddie kept Richie a secret, like a friend that was his and his alone. His heart never failed to flutter alive whenever Richie wrote to him, that familiar chicken scroll greeting him when he woke up every morning.

“We’re kind of a big group, so there’s Bev, Bill, Mike and Richie,” Stan listed off to him.

From the mention of the name Richie, Eddie felt his heart skip a beat. Trying to keep his cool, he smiled and said it sounded great. He wasn’t sure how many Richie’s lived in the US, but it would be quite a coincidence for this Richie to be his.

They walked into an old looking diner, and Ben guided him over to a table where four people were currently seated. Eddie settled his nerves and said his hello’s after Ben introduced him.

“So that’s Mike,” Ben pointed to the guy at the other end. “That’s Bill,” he was seated next to Stan. “This is Bev,” Ben smiled, and it was slightly different.

“I’m the best one, so stick with me,” Bev said and winked.

“And that’s—” Ben was cut off as the tall guy with shaggy hair and large glasses stood up to greet him.

“Richie, but y’all can just call me Sheriff  Tozier, at yer service, sonny,” Richie performed an awful bow before he shook Eddie’s hand. Eddie felt an odd shiver crawl up his spine.

“Richie, leave the poor boy alone, he’s new,” Bev scolded. Richie shrugged before reclaiming his seat.

The conversation flowed and Eddie felt himself fitting in so well with everyone it almost threw him multiple times. He kept mostly to one end of the table, chatting to Ben and Bev, but every so often he would glance up and find Richie staring at him, expression curious. Eddie wasn’t sure why his response was for his face to heat up before looking away, but it never stopped him from glancing over again throughout the night. 

*

The discussion of soulmates didn’t come up that often in their group, but it did happen, and Eddie never quite knew what to contribute to the topic.

“I don’t really believe in them,” Bev said one evening, nursing a beer in her hand with her foot resting on the table. Her smile grew sad. “I never got one.”

“You’re not missing out on much,” Richie said as he rummaged through their fridge. Eddie had learned very quickly that Richie tended to say whatever he liked, regardless if it was insensitive or not. “It’s like being tied down from birth. No thanks.” He pulled a face.

“Some people like it. I’ve planned to meet mine when I’m finished with school,” Mike smiled.

“Why not now?” Eddie asked.

“She’s too far away, other side of the world,” Mike explained. Stan was too engrossed in his book to really contribute anything, his long fingers curled around the bind with his brows pinched.

“Or you could be like me and have a platonic soulmate,” Bill said. Eddie’s interest was instantly peaked.

“I… that’s possible?” Eddie asked. A heavy weight sat itself on his chest.

“Sure, Eds,” Richie slapped Eddie’s back as he passed. Eddie felt his skin tingle from the touch. “I consider you all my platonic soulmates who I sometimes think of when I jerk off.”

“Mine’s my brother,” Bill continued as if Richie hadn’t spoken. “Did you not know about that, Eddie?”

“No,” Eddie shook his head. He looked down at his feet, suddenly rethinking everything. “I didn’t.”

*

Without really noticing, Richie had become the person Eddie hung out with in the group the most (although he lived with Ben and Stan, it wasn’t exactly the same).

He seemed to always be around now. His favourite soda always appeared to be stocked in Eddie’s fridge. Piles of his video cassettes could be found all over the apartment. Eddie’s room, which Eddie had still yet to really furnish, had posters lined up all over the walls that Richie thought would look good there. It was these subtle little changes in Eddie’s life that made him so fucking happy to learn what it was like to have a best friend.

They were almost into winter now, and Eddie had begun to layer up, while Richie’s wardrobe hardly changed at all.  He claimed the cold didn’t get to him, and Eddie wondered if maybe he just didn’t want to lose any Cool Guy points by having to put on a parka.

“Okay, we get it, you’re straight – but stop putting your health at risk and throw on some damn layers,” Eddie argued as soon as they stepped back inside the apartment.

“You’re a fucking liar, Edward Kaspbrak,” Richie scoffed before making himself at home, like he always did. “But I won’t say no to a coffee.”

Eddie finished shrugging off his jacket before heading into the kitchen. “Yeah, yeah. You picking the movie tonight?”

“Absolutely I am,” Richie’s voice was muffled as he moved about the living room. Eddie got to making the coffee, flicking the kettle on and dumping spoonfuls of instant into two mugs.

As he waited, his fingers absentmindedly traced along the most recent message his Richie had left him. It was on the inside of his elbow, short and to the point:

**hope college is still good. I miss talking to you like we used to…**

Eddie felt a pang of guilt strike him. Ever since he’d unceremoniously joined this band of misfit friends, he’d admit he hadn’t put in the same amount of effort to communicate with Richie lately. But he couldn’t stop thinking about what Bill said, endlessly wondering if his Richie could simply turn out to just be a friend instead of being a destined lover.

Thoughts a mess, he didn’t notice the kettle was boiled until Richie called out to him from the other room. Eyes shut as he looked to the sky beyond the ceiling, Eddie breathed in deep and wished for some answers.

“Hey, Kaspbrak, I hope you don’t mind watching _Barton Fink_ again, because guess what? You have no say in the matter!” Richie said, grinning, when Eddie walked over with the two hot drinks.

As they waited for the cassette to rewind, they settled down onto the busted up old couch, and unable to help it, Eddie shivered where he sat.

“Cold?” Richie asked. Eddie nodded irritably. “Why don’t you turn on the heater?”

“Broken,” Eddie said irritably again. He reached for the knitted throw on the back of the couch, but then all too soon he was being pulled over until he was flushed against Richie’s side, his curled legs half over Richie’s lap. A noise got stuck coming up his throat. Richie really did feel warm.

“Told you,” Richie said, as if reading his thoughts. Eddie was glad he couldn’t, though, because there were too many things going on inside his head that he wasn’t ready to explain to anyone.

So Eddie settled into Richie’s arm secured around him, hardly paying attention to the movie, but he didn’t think he’d want to be anywhere else.

*

They were in the library one afternoon, the sky full of grey clouds as they shared a packet of Milk Duds between them. The others had already left, but Eddie wanted to stay behind to get in some study he’d been avoiding up until now. Richie had volunteered to stay back as well, and Bill had shared a look with Richie that Eddie didn’t know the context of. Still, it was nice to have company, even if Richie was proving to be a great distraction.

“Quit it,” Eddie said without looking up.

“Quit what?” Richie asked, playing dumb as he leaned back on his chair, hands behind his head.

“Quit tapping my leg,” Eddie elaborated. He turned a page, not sure if he was even done reading it.

“You can’t prove anything,” Richie countered, until he did, in fact, tap Eddie’s leg again under the table. Eddie picked up a Milk Dud and threw it at him. Richie tried to catch it with his mouth. A few minutes of silence passed before Richie fell forward with a _plop_ , his hands smacking against the tabletop.

“Hey, you know what tomorrow is?”

“Is it the day of your death?” Eddie asked.

Richie grinned. “That, and also: it’s Valentines.” Eddie felt that familiar flush in his body only Richie seemed to cause. He kept his eyes down on his book. “Are you doing anything?”

“Me?” Eddie said. “Like, what? Am I going out with someone?”

“I guess.”

Eddie played with the pages of his book again, suddenly embarrassed. “Well, no…” He was sure Richie wouldn’t laugh at him, but admitting to how alone you were was never something pleasant.

“Well, those of us in the group without a significant other were just gonna hang out all night and order in Chinese food,” Richie offered. The foot that tapped Eddie’s leg was followed by an encouraging smile.

“Okay,” Eddie smiled back.

*

“Richie… how come you never talk about your soulmate?”

Richie was lying back on Eddie’s bed, his headphones half-on, and he turned his head to squint at Eddie through the dimly lit room. “What?”

Eddie cleared his throat quickly and kept his closed fists resting on his thighs. He had found a message there this morning, long and meaningful:

**sarah, I know we don’t talk as much, but I wanted to say that I wouldn’t object to meeting you in person some day. I know we never mention it, but lately I can’t stop thinking about everything, my life, yours, and I can’t help but ache from the thought of never getting the chance to meet you. lately I’ve been feeling lost, and although you might not bring me all of the answers, I sometimes hope you could, or at least give me some closure. think about it. please.**

He had cried into his pillow, not knowing what to do as the disgusted voice of his mother crept up on him like a physical pain.

“You have one, but you never talk about them,” he explained.

“Well neither do you,” Richie said. His eyes seemed piercing behind his glasses, as if daring Eddie to argue back.

“I—” the words got lost. Without meaning to, the hot tears fell, staining his cheeks until they dropped to his pants. Richie was up in a matter of seconds, wrapping his arms around Eddie as he rested his head on Eddie’s soft curls. Eddie clung back desperately, breaths uneven until he could eventually calm down. The soft thrum of Richie’s music played from his abandoned speakers on the bed; there were weeks old packets of empty chips everywhere; Eddie realized in that moment he was in love with Richie Tozier.

“No matter what, you’ve always got me, Eds. Okay?” Richie spoke in a soft tone, his fingers now threading through Eddie’s hair.

Body frozen and nerves alight, Eddie merely nodded in reply.

*

Eddie couldn’t remember how, but his friends had somehow dragged him out one night to go dancing. All seven of them were here, which Eddie had noticed had become harder as the time flew by and college life slowly ate away at them. The leaves on the tress had begun to fall, the ground now a sea of oranges and yellows. That was the only way Eddie noticed if things were changing these days.

If there was one thing he’s learned from being in love, it’s that nothing around you changed. Nothing except yourself.

Eddie hadn’t received a new message since the day his mind had become nothing other than _Richie, Richie, Richie._

Oh, how Eddie wished they were one of the same. But it didn’t take a genius to see that Richie didn’t care about his soulmate. He was a free soul, proving time and time again that he remained unperturbed by his supposedly other-half waiting for him somewhere on this planet. Often Eddie would catch himself wishing, hoping, wondering when exactly this nightmare would end.

And the final blow to this tear-stained mess? Was seeing Richie throw himself at any girl that was willing to pay him any mind on this cold Tuesday night.

“Richie’s been acting different lately,” Stan spoke up around the table.

“How?” Eddie asked. He knew it was irrational, to worry that his friends could see right through all of the bullshit – that they could see the feelings his was currently harbouring for his best friend.

“It’s hard to tell with Richie,” Bev said. Her arms were crossed; her pink fingernails glowing under the lights. “He doesn’t exactly let people in.”

Eddie is about to argue, to defend Richie, to say that he’s never felt safer than when he’s in Richie’s arms. But he stopped, second guessing it all, and kept his mouth shut.  

When it’s well past midnight, drinks after drinks disappearing from the table, Eddie remained the most sober as he tried his best to usher his friends back home. Laughter was spilling out all around him, bodies bumping into one another, and Richie clung to Eddie’s shoulders like a lifeline. Stan and Ben both said they want to crash at Bill’s, so Eddie was ready to head home by himself until Richie tugged at his arm.

“Can I sleep at yours?” Richie asked, voice slurred.

“Of course,” Eddie said, incapable of saying no.

He’s never been more thankful for the elevator in their building, and after he opened the front door and guided Richie down to his bedroom, Eddie couldn’t help but use the opportunity to look at Richie for longer than he usually did.

“Eddie, _Eds_ ,” Richie said, his hand moving about. Eddie reached for it and twined their fingers together for one selfish moment. He couldn’t deny how right it felt. “I still can’t find her, Eds. I _can’t_ …”

With a dry mouth he asked, “Who?”

“My soulmate,” Richie murmured, struggling greatly until he could roll over toward Eddie.

Eddie felt his heart stumble in his chest. “Oh…”

Richie’s grip grew tighter. “I only have her name, that’s it, that’s all I’ll ever get…”

“What’s her name?” Eddie whispered, regretting it instantly. He had to look away. He thought Richie must have fallen asleep when the silence dragged out, only then, in the quiet of 2am:

“Sarah…” it was muffled, but clear as day.

In the darkness of his room, Richie passed out, glasses askew on his face as he snored, and Eddie did not move away for a very long time, lungs hurting as sobs wracked his body.

*

For the first time since meeting Richie, Eddie felt a new sadness around him, like a hand that was squeezing harder around his heart each day.

He didn’t know how much Richie remembered from that night all those weeks ago, if he’d fallen asleep to the sound of Eddie crying not three feet away, broken and ugly. It was right there, always in the corner of his eye, like a black spot growing bigger, waiting for the moment Eddie could fuck it all up.

He wanted to shy away from Richie’s touch – to not be instantly drawn to him the minute he walked into the room. It felt like a tether, only now it all made sense.

Richie was his soulmate.

Richie still thought his soulmate was a girl.

Eddie laid awake at night, angry at himself, at the world, at his _mother_ , for warping his mind deeper and deeper into this lie he couldn’t see himself digging out of. For the first time since leaving Derry, Eddie whispered a prayer into the air; his own Hail Mary.

*

“Do you think you’ll ever fall in love one day, Eds?”

With a wobbly smile, heart on his sleeve and knees bruised deep, Eddie answered, “Anything can happen, right?”

*

How is it… that in the end, his mother had been right?

*

Eddie knew he was late for class, but he couldn’t bring himself to get up. Instead, he buried himself further under the covers, escaping the chill of their apartment and all of the masks he wore these days.

He felt stuck. Unable to take the final step, feet rooted in place as the world continued to move on without him. It was suffocating.

Just then, there was a knock at his door. He stared at it, already knowing who stood on the other side. He had given Richie a key to his apartment long ago.

“Eds?”

It was useless to ignore him, so Eddie got up, sheets bundled around him, and opened the door with the most genuine smile he could muster.

“Jesus,” is all Richie said before he pushed past him into his bedroom. 

“What’s up?” Eddie asked as he went to lie back down. Richie stopped him quickly.

“Why don’t you tell me?” Richie said back. “You’ve been distant, Eds, we can all see it. Just… are you okay? Did something happen?”

Eddie hoped the wetness in his eyes wasn’t noticeable. “I’m fine, Richie.”

“Bullshit,” Richie laughed sadly.

“I said I’m _fine_ , Richie,” Eddie repeated, a touch louder. Feeling like the walls were closing in on him, he left his bedroom, hearing Richie follow until they were now standing in the lounge room.

Richie huffed once. “Look, Eds, you’re allowed to be sad. That’s normal. But can you just… stop being so difficult and tell me _why_?”

“ _I’m_ being difficult?” Eddie whipped around, dropping the blanket as he went. “You’re quite literally the most difficult person I’ve ever _met_.”

“ _Me_?” Richie balked.

“Yes _you_ ,” Eddie seethed. The thing that had been building inside him was finally at its tipping point. So he fell. “You say things to me like, _Oh, I don’t care for soulmates_ , and then follow that with _I’ll always be here for you, Eds_. You listen when I talk about my mother; you fall asleep in my room like it’s second nature…” Eddie felt his hands start to shake. “You… you look at me like someone who doesn’t see me as fragile. And then you make me fall in love with you right before you snatch away any chance I could possibly have by throwing yourself at any girl in sight. So no, I’m not being _difficult_ , Tozier, I’m just fucking _heartbroken_.”

Silence reaped the open space. Eddie’s entire body trembled, too petrified to look at Richie, his mind catching up to what he’d just said. Then, he could hear Richie stepping closer, footsteps gaining momentum until they’re walking past him and into the kitchen. There’s some noise, drawers being opened frantically, and Richie cursed until he seemed to have found what he needed. When he came back, Eddie had turned to face him, and without another word Richie revealed a marker in his hand and Eddie felt his heart drop.

“Richie—” Eddie started.

“Is it you?” was all Richie asked. When Eddie remained quiet, Richie brought the marker to his skin in a move to start writing.

“No!” Eddie ran forward, his hand clenching hard around Richie’s to stop him. Richie didn’t struggle. Eddie closed his eyes and sucked in a breath.

“It’s you,” Richie said, less like a question now. Eddie took the marker and stepped back, and Richie let him go. “Why did you… why did you lie to me? All this time, I…”

Eddie finally looked at him. Richie's face was twisted up, pained. “I didn’t know, not until that night you passed out drunk on my bed.”

Richie pushed his glasses up before he ran a hand through his tangled hair. “You drove me crazy… both versions of you.”

“Both?” Eddie asked quietly.

“All my life I wanted to meet you,” Richie started. “My entire life, ever since I found out about soulmates when I was four. I _dreamt_ of it. Then, when I learnt your name, I was _ecstatic_. I would look for Sarahs anywhere I went, like a wild goose chase. When I started college, I decided to slow down. To finally enjoy things for once. And then I met you,” he stopped, expression unreadable. “I felt something that day, and I think you did to. Slowly, I think I started to forget about Sarah. Most days I only thought of you. You had this terrifying hold on me that I didn’t know what to do with…”

“Richie,” hope was bubbling in Eddie’s chest now. He didn’t want to burst it, though, and waited for Richie to finish.

“I still don’t know why you lied,” Richie stepped closer, body language slightly guarded. Eddie wanted to fix it. “Perhaps you had a good reason. You definitely hurt me, but…”

Eddie swallowed. “But…?”

Richie finally cracked a familiar smile. “I’m so fucking in love with you I don’t think anything you say could drive me away now.”

Eddie laughed wetly, rubbing at his eyes with the palm of his hand. He felt elated and heavy all at once. “Careful what you wish for, Tozier.”

Richie stepped even closer until they were only a foot apart now. Slowly, gently, he reached up to cup Eddie’s cheek, thumb stroking softly as he held his gaze. “I’ll take my chances.”

Eddie exhaled slowly. “Richie, I’m still scared…”

“Fuck, me too, honestly,” Richie said. He licked his lips. “But… it’s _you_ , so…”

And somehow, those four little words were enough to convince Eddie that they could make this work. Every jab his mother ever made at the concept faded to the back of his mind. Every doubt he’d felt since the beginning simply wilted away, becoming nothing more significant than any other doubt he’d had. It suddenly became as simple as breathing, like a known fact. They could do this.

“Richie, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he babbled, knowing they’d talk more later but needing to get that out first. “I hated hurting you. _Trust me_. But I’m all in, okay? I love you and I’m all in.”

“ _I love you,_ ” was all Richie said before he finally caught Eddie’s lips in a kiss.

Eddie circled his arms around Richie’s shoulders, feet almost lifting off the ground as Richie held onto him with a tightness verging on terrified. Their lips moved in tandem, as if they were made for it, and Eddie pushed every thought and every feeling he’d ever had into it, hoping Richie would understand.

And when Richie smiled into the kiss, big and wide, Eddie knew he did.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> so this ended up twice as long than it was supposed to, lmao, and I'm not sure it's any good, but I always love to hear your thoughts anyway, or find me over on [tumblr](http://edsbrak.tumblr.com/) x


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